the truth about the ring.

This past week was definitely a terrifying one to say the least. I have been feeling sick for about 6 weeks now. I originally went to the doctors in late January because I had chest pains every time I took a breath in. I had been cleaning out Todd's garage and had allergy symptoms from all the dust. I woke up a few mornings later and coughed up blood. It was just the once and didn't happened again but I still wanted to go to the doctors to check it out and be safe. The doctor took an X-ray (that came out clear) and saw how irritated my nasal cavity was so he prescribed me meds for my allergies. 

A few weeks passed and I still wasn't 100% better. I had my ups and downs, but wasn't anything that could keep this busy bride from running around like crazy. It got to the point where I couldn't even walk up Todd's stairs without getting totally out of breath and wheezing deeply. I went back to the doctor took another X-ray to make sure it was not pneumonia or bronchitis again and ruled that out. So I kept pushing through because "it was only allergies" & I had plenty of stuff I wanted to do. 

On wednesday morning I woke up with some back pain and I coughed up a blood clot once again. As the day went on my back pain got worse. That night around 8pm my back pain became intolerable. I had a sharp pain deep inside that wouldn't allow me to even talk or walk and I could not breathe. Todd rushed me to the ER and they immediately brought me in and started running tests. They took another X-ray and some blood tests. The X-ray of course came out clear again, but my blood work was abnormal. My d-dimer levels (a substance that is released when a blood clot breaks up) were extremely high. A normal person would have d-dimer levels of 250 and mine were over 3,000. The doctor immediately ordered a CT scan for me. The first one didn't come out clear because of some complications but once we got the results of the second one it clearly showed large Pulmonary Embolisms. Turns out I had about FOUR in EACH lung. If I had not gone into the ER that night they would've killed me. 

Because my doctor had taken blood work & vitals, aside from the clotting they saw that I was in perfect health. There was no reason that a perfectly healthy 25 year old should be having major clotting except for one reason, my birth control...

NuvaRing. 

They admitted me into the hospital right away. Not exactly how I thought I would spend my 25th birthday... My charge nurse came in to tell me that there were many girls suffering from my condition, some of which did not survive, and there were many lawsuits against the company going on. I had no idea. I had been on this particular birth control for over 2 years! 

I spent 2 days in the hospital hooked up to a heparin drip to thin out my blood. Luckily because I am so young and so healthy the internist told me that these blood thinners will prevent my clots from getting bigger & me forming any new ones & my body should be able to absorb the clots in time. I was discharged and sent home with treatments I can do myself. This is something I am not particularly fond of. If you know me I am a huge baby, I can't swallow pills & I am deathly afraid of needles. I almost passed out every time they tried to put in an IV or draw my blood. (which happened to be a lot, because they can never find my veins.)It was my own personal nightmare. haha 

So now my current life consists of a lot of resting, I can't do anything that will over-exert myself because I don't want the clots to travel before they dissolve & right now it doesn't take much for me to become tired. It turned out that the pain in my back that I was feeling was the damage the clots did to my lungs so I will continue to be in pain until my lungs heal. I have to give myself injections of Lovenox twice a day until my Coumadin pills kick in (about 10 days or so). Thank god my mom, my friend Leslie & Todd are all willing to give them to me because I could never talk myself into doing it. I am to remain on the Coumadin pills everyday for the next 6 months. I must go in for blood work 3 times a week for the next 3 weeks until my dosage is correct and they can take me off the injections. Then once I am off the Lovenox I only go in once a month to make sure my Coumadin dosage is still working for the next 6 months. Also during those months I have to manage my diet and make sure I don't take in too much vitamin k because it could counter act my meds. (foods like kale, spinach, broccoli, green beans, any leafy greens are super high in vitamin k) I cannot take part in any roller coasters or things like high contact sports cause I'm at a danger of bleeding out or internally. 

I have to forever be careful about my choices. I can never be on any type of hormonal birth control again. Flying will always be a danger for me. I have to take many precautions when I go on trips. When I decide I want to have kids I have to start Lovenox injections when I'm trying, then once I'm pregnant I have to be on them everyday of pregnancy & for 6-12 weeks after, then start the pills again after. Same goes for if I ever need a surgery for something.  Even though it is not genetic or hereditary in my family I am at a higher risk of forming a blood clot again because my body has already done it before.  

I can not stress enough how dangerous this particular birth control is. I was lucky enough to have caught it, but that isn't the case for a lot of these other young girls who have had their lives taken by it.  If you or a friend you know is on it PLEASE consider another form. Here is an article Vanity Fair wrote on NuvaRing & a blog of another girl who had the same issues so you can read for more info on the details of why this birth control is so dangerous. 
Seriously NuvaBling would be a better choice (;

Now all joking aside, I do have my days of breakdowns because I am exhausted and tired of being in pain and tired of needles. But I have to constantly remind myself that I am lucky to be alive. God truly was watching over me that night. He had my back and I was fortunate enough to have caught the clots in time. So yes I absolutely HATE these things I have to do now and things I can't do but I will forever be grateful that all this pill taking and poking of needles saved me so that I can enjoy this beautiful little life I have been blessed with. I think one of my favorites quotes from the movie American Beauty describes how I feel the best...

"I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me. But it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once...and it's too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I remember... to relax, and not try to hold on to it. And then it flows through me like rain. And I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life." 

flower child.

If you know me you know I am pretty much a flower child reincarnate. So naturally I wanted a TON of flowers at my wedding. Unfortunately, I am also a cheap bride...okay maybe cheap is a harsh word...budget savvy might be better (;  I just cannot comprehend why anyone would spend a ton of money on just ONE day. I understand that this is one of the most important days of your life and you want to celebrate it in the best way you can, BUT do you want to spend the rest of your life in debt for it? Shouldn't the day be really about marrying your best friend? I mean don't get me wrong i LOVE a good party, but most people don't know that you can throw a great party that looks expensive for 1/5th of the price of an actually expensive wedding (& most of the time they even look better). You just have to know how to bargain shop, be persistent, and be prepared to DIY some things.

  Now I am a DIY girl all the way. So normally with weddings or parties that I plan I will usually go to the flower market and create my own floral arrangements. However it is a lot of work and too much work to be doing at 2am the night before my wedding day. I needed to find someone who understood my vision and could do for me what I would've done for myself. I must have quoted about 35 florists at minimum. Even being the penny-pincher I am I saved about $1,500 for flowers which is a BIG chunk of my budget because it is most important to me and I want/need a lot of them. I would say about 18 of the florists wrote me back with "Sorry I can't work with such a small budget", most didn't even reply, and the ones who did said "I can give you half of what you want for $2500 minimum." 

  I thought for sure I was screwed and going to have to make my own florals but then this wonderful lady named Margaret called me! She has been a florist for about 33 years. She used to own a shop with her husband but then they split so she decided to convert her garage into a walk in cooler and do it from her home. Without having the overhead she used to she is able to create beautiful arrangements for a great cost! She loves helping out budgeted brides and her vision for florals is amazing. She is very creative and definitely does not do your typical catalog florals, her work is different and EXACTLY what i wanted! You can check out her website here and her AMAZING yelp reviews here. Because of her I get everything I need at the price I can afford! Im so excited to see what she creates for our big day!
You can check out some of her work below.